Tom Avila is a contributing writer to Metro Weekly [1] news magazine and a staffer for the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association (NLGJA) [2].

A confession: The other night I watched an episode of “Step It Up and Dance.” It was a drive-by viewing.

This is something I do a lot with reality shows. With the exception of “Top Chef” and, until last season, “Project Runway,” I don’t watch any of them with regularity. I don’t know the names of the participants or their back stories. I have never voted for the next American Idol.

The cool thing to say would be that I watch these shows ironically. To claim I find amusement in deconstructing what reality shows say about our culture in this time when media is a virtual Wild West where anyone can stake their claim.

But I’m not cool. I once had to confess to a co-worker that I had not seen an apparently significant episode of “American Idol” because I had instead watched a documentary about the life of Martin Luther.

No, when I come upon these shows, I watch them for the same reason everyone else does. They’re entertaining. At the end of the night, I might have learned absolutely nothing more than the fact that it’s absolutely critical, if you are competing for a spot with the Pussycat Dolls, to keep reminding yourself that you are sexy. (I’m not really worried about this happening.)

So what happens when you find yourself transfixed by someone carrying on like one of the cast members on Oxygen Network’s “The Bad Girls Club” and you realize, thanks to the tiny revolving satellite in the lower corner of the screen, that the reality show you’re watching is a news channel.

When FOX “Red Eye” host Greg Gutfeld and his crew of commentators decided to opine on the pregnancy of Thomas Beatie, they did so with the kind of highbrow intellectualism normally employed by cliquish sixth-graders writing about unpopular classmates in a spiral-bound slam book. The violence of the language actually made me wish for the kinder, gentler days when we thought Don Imus had crossed the line of basic decency. And all the while the FOX News logo turned slowly on its axis reminding all and sundry that this was being broadcast on a news channel.

For those not familiar with the background, Beatie was born a biological female. He has had some physical gender reassignment surgery as well as hormone therapy and is legally recognized as being male. However, as Beatie stated during his appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show, “I actually opted not to do anything to my reproductive organs because I wanted to have a child one day.”

Because of this, if we shovel through the vitriol we find that Gutfeld might have raised a question that would actually be relevant to many individuals. If Beatie has not had surgery to reconstruct his genitalia and consciously elected to retain the ability to have children, why should journalists refer to him using male pronouns?

The short answer, and the one which Gutfeld used to flog journalists for what he sees as liberal PC-ism, is because that is how Beatie has chosen to identify himself. Regardless of the biological gender of the individual at birth or their physical genitalia (reassignment surgery is expensive and, desire aside, falls outside the means of some individuals), when writing about or reporting on transgender individuals reporters should always use the pronoun appropriate to the gender with which the subject identifies.

To suggest, however, that the Beatie situation does not present a unique set of circumstances for journalists is to be shortsighted. Using male pronouns results in the kind of sensational-looking headlines we normally see when waiting in the checkout line at the grocery store.

This is not to defend what occurred on “Red Eye.” Their disregard for the complexity of the situation and the playground-level humor employed is not only equally unhelpful, it is the kind of speech which can result in actual, physical violence against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) individuals.

If I were to be absolutely honest and make another confession in this column, I would say that I don’t know precisely how one should cover Beatie’s story.

But to begin, I would say that there is a place between the angry rhetoric of Gutfeld and the passiveness of those who suggest that this is a story about a family to be presented like any other. The pregnancy announcements of most other families don’t earn them a spot on Oprah.

It’s a space where we acknowledge that the creation of this family challenges everything we have come to assume about gender and parenthood. It’s a time when we re-examine our own prejudices and pre-conceptions and ask, very honestly, what does my audience need to know to truly appreciate what is occurring in this situation.

It may be that they need to hear that there are even members of the LGBT community who are themselves trying to make sense of what the larger impact might be with regard to Beatie and his partner’s very personal decision.

And while it might be because the Pope’s visit to the U.S. is inspiring that little Catholic voice inside me, I offer you another confession: I watch Fox News. I know a great number of individuals who work for Fox News and Fox affiliate stations who I think highly of as journalists because I know their commitment to the work they do and the passion they possess.

At the end of the day, I know that what Gutfeld and his cohorts are doing is entertainment (and let’s be, to borrow, very fair and balanced here, Fox News is not alone in offering this kind of programming and I’ve written about others). But what is the message that we send as news organizations when we give the statements made by Gutfeld the same home as information about the declining U.S. dollar, the impact of outsourcing and natural disasters, and the election of this country’s next president?

It might be time for journalists to start asking this question more loudly. It might be time for all of us to step it up.

When not furtively watching to find out who will be America’s next top model, fashion designer or deli counter employee, Tom Avila is a staffer for the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association. The opinions expressed in this essay are, however, his and not those of his employer.