What I Meant to Say

Tom Avila, CCJ Contributing Writer, October 18, 2007

Tom AvilaTom Avila is a contributing writer to Metro Weekly [1] news magazine and a staffer for the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association (NLGJA) [2]. He has written a book...which no one has chosen to publish.

 

I thought this column was done until about 3 a.m. Sunday morning.

It had a really snappy title—“Tap, Tap, Tapping on Heaven’s Door”—which tested very well on folks for whom I preview my rare self-congratulatory moments. It was, of course, about the scandal surrounding Senator Larry Craig.

But something was not quite right. And then, at the convenient hour of 3 a.m. it hit me. I had buried the lede. In trying to be clever I lost track of the real story I needed to tell.

So instead—funny title be damned—I’m going to put Senator Craig aside for a moment and start with a call I got from a student editor earlier this week.

A reporter had turned in a story whose subject, a biological female whose gender identity I understood to be male, had specifically asked to only be identified using “gender-neutral pronouns.” In other words, the individual in question wanted to be identified as a slash—he/she, him/her. The editor was stumped.

I suggested the newspaper be completely transparent. Note to readers that the slash identifiers they would see in the article were being used because that was how the subject chose to be identified. Not only would the solution ease some of the concerns the editor had, it would save the newspaper from the possible backlash from readers who believed the editorial staff had made the decision to “neutralize” the subject’s gender. More importantly, it would create an opportunity for the newspaper to instigate intelligent and informed conversation about issues of gender identity and expression.

When writing about minority communities, asking questions like this and appreciating the weight words have can mean the difference between giving the audience access to new information and reinforcing sometimes harmful stereotypes.

And when a community—like the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community—is one that is often placed at the center of fierce, sometimes excessively biased, political and social debate, giving the public clear and accurate coverage is all the more critical.

It doesn’t mean gathering a doctoral degree’s worth of data and background while on deadline. Often times, it’s just taking a minute or two to consider if what you’re trying to say is the same as what your words are really saying.

Think about the stories being done a few years ago about Catholic priests who were being accused of sexually violating children in their congregations. Some newspapers and outlets cast the accused as gay men, which was not the crime they were accused of committing. These men were accused of being pedophiles, a crime of predatory violence. Whether or not they were gay was beside the point.

Consider, when reporting on rape cases, is it noted whether or not the attacker was heterosexual? It’s not—because we recognize that the crime we are reporting is one of negative action, not sexual orientation.

Let’s take Senator Craig for a moment. In a press conference in Boise, Idaho not long after the story of his arrest broke nationwide, Craig said to a group of reporters, “Let me be very clear: I am not gay. I have never been gay.” Not surprising given the rumors that were on the move and the decision by some news organizations to characterize the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport action as a “gay sex sting.”

Senator Craig may or may not be gay. Yes, the accusation is that he was attempting to solicit sex from another individual in a men’s restroom. Odds are pretty good that, if this is true, the Senator was not under the impression that a jet-lagged business woman had accidentally stumbled into a stall in the wrong lavatory. But is the heart of this story the Senator’s sexual orientation? Or is it the act he is accused of committing? Again, we shouldn’t confuse act with orientation.

This is why use of the phrase “gay lifestyle” is inappropriate and should really never be used. Your lifestyle is made up of acts and activities which may or may not have anything to do with your sexual orientation. Some lifestyles including boating and summers in the Hamptons. Other lifestyles include the tapping of feet in Midwestern airport restrooms.

When reporting on issues of sex, sexual orientation and gender identity, you’re entering complex territory and it needs to be respected as such. Sometimes that means being sure that what you’re saying is what you really mean to say. Sometimes it means asking for some assistance.

And sometimes it means giving up a really great title.

Tom Avila supports his gay lifestyle working for the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, which offers a Stylebook Supplement on LGBT Terminology [3]. However, the opinions expressed in this essay are his and not necessarily those of NLGJA.

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